Friday, October 19, 2007

Blogs=free spirits

I haven’t written a blog in a long time. I have to admit that I love reading them. I love reading about what everyone spills out over the internet.

Why is it so easy to let your guard down over the internet and so hard to say what you want to people’s faces? I blame my shyness and decided that I have more trouble with this than anyone else. I don’t think that’s true though. But watch out I just let my guard down. I hope I doesn’t land on anyone’s head…

As I get older (21, I know I’m very young) I’ve decided to not put up with crap anymore. I’m changing a lot. I do whatever I want to. And you know what, it’s not really working to my benefit. An example of this would be my relationships with my friends at school… Last year I went to restaurants that give me tummy trouble, movies that offend me, sporting events that bored me to tears, and parties that made me feel uncomfortable. A while back I took a stand for myself. I used to think, “Oh I should go hangout with these people, and they are my friends.” But WHY? Why should I feel like I have to do things that I don’t want to do. I’m not doing it anymore.

This year my friends all went to go see Superbad. I hate stupid comedy, as I like to call it, I end up offended and grossed out. I don’t want to see crude images or ideas on a big screen. It isn’t fun for me. So I didn’t go. Yea me! Right?

Here is what has happened since the movie and many other situations like it…
Those friends don’t hang out with me anymore.

I guess I need to realize that we just never had anything in common and I was just trying to convince myself that we did. It’s not that we aren’t friends anymore. We are. We do an occasional get-together here and there. I just never found that great group of college friends that are the friends you have forever. I do have great friends that I love, don’t misunderstand me. This isn’t a “feel sorry for me I have no friends “ blog. This is a "I thought college would be filled with people like me, intellectuals interested in the same books, music, religion, pop-culture" blog. I was wrong.
But I also expected to figure out what kind of person I would become; maybe I have to go through this process to figure that out.


  1. It sounds to me like you're totally discovering who you are!

    You are no longer that little girl with a fear of all meat products.

    You're carving a very impressive path.

    You rock. Even though you gave me one of those "It looks nice ON YOU," type comments through your mom's page... lol.

  2. Yikes! I didn't expect to open your blog for the first time and find a picture of me staring back at me. You are an awesome blogger. I can't believe you've had it for so long and I didn't know about it. After reading through all of them, I think we just might be kindred spirits after all. I had no idea that the voice in my head has been you all along.